One of the most common questions I hear from clients after separation is: “Our relationship is over. I don’t want him to see my kids anymore. Can I do that?”
In most cases, the answer is no — and here’s why.
“Custody” Is an Old Concept
If you’re searching for “sole custody” in BC, you’re using terminology from the old Family Relations Act. Since 2013, BC’s Family Law Act (FLA) has replaced “custody” and “access” with more child-focused language:
- Guardianship — who has legal authority over the child (s. 39)
- Parental responsibilities — decision-making authority (s. 41)
- Parenting time — when the child is with each guardian (s. 42)
Under section 39(1) of the FLA, both parents are generally guardians of their children while living together and after separation. Section 40(4) makes clear there is no presumption of equal parenting time, equal parental responsibilities, or any particular decision-making arrangement — but removing a parent’s involvement entirely requires evidence that this serves the child’s best interests under section 37.
What Courts Require to Limit Parenting Time
The guiding principle is always the best interests of the child (s. 37). Courts consider factors including the child’s safety, stability, caregiving history, and the impact of family violence — even violence directed at the other parent, not the child (s. 37(2)(g)-(j)).
If family violence is alleged, the court must conduct a proper analysis under section 38, considering factors such as severity, recency, frequency, and whether the violence was coercive or controlling.
In K.M.N. v. S.Z.M., 2024 BCCA 70, the BC Court of Appeal ordered a new trial because the trial judge failed to properly analyze family violence directed at the mother when assessing the child’s best interests. The Court emphasized that a child’s exposure to violence against a family member is itself a harm that must be considered.
Supervised or restricted parenting time is considered an exceptional measure. In F.K. v. M.K., 2010 BCSC 563 at para. 147, the Court noted that supervised access is “just one step away from a complete termination of the parent-child relationship” and requires evidence of exceptional circumstances.
When Sole Parenting May Be Granted
Courts may grant sole parental responsibilities where:
- There is proven family violence or ongoing safety risks
- One parent has serious addiction or untreated mental health issues affecting parenting capacity
- A parent has abandoned involvement — as in Sehra v. Sehra, 2024 BCSC 1444, where the father’s prolonged absence and uncertain whereabouts led to sole parenting being granted to the mother
The Bottom Line
Wanting to exclude your ex from your children’s lives because the relationship ended is emotionally understandable — but legally insufficient. As the Supreme Court of Canada stated in Barendregt v. Grebliunas, 2022 SCC 22 at para. 8, determining parenting arrangements is a “heavy responsibility, with profound impacts on children, families and society.”
If you have genuine safety concerns, document everything and seek legal advice immediately.
George Lee Law provides family law services in English, Cantonese, and Mandarin throughout Vancouver and the Lower Mainland. Contact us for a consultation.
Case Citations
Barendregt v. Grebliunas, 2022 SCC 22
K.M.N. v. S.Z.M., 2024 BCCA 70
Sehra v. Sehra, 2024 BCSC 1444
F.K. v. M.K., 2010 BCSC 563
Statutory References
Family Law Act, SBC 2011, c. 25, ss. 37, 38, 39, 40, 41, 42